OK In Health - Healing

Hopelessly Devoted to Everyone But You? - April 2014

Using intuition to find balance in your life.

By Mona Lisa Schulz

ARE YOU A ROCK OF DEPENDABILITY, one who is forever responsible and reliable as far as others go, but who neglects your own self-image and self-esteem? Isadora, 28, illustrates this perfectly. She was always the dependable one, be it at work, in her church, or with her friends. The most conscientious and diligent person in her office, Isadora arrived ten minutes early every day and was always willing to stay late if necessary. She was a rock of reliability, there at all times to lend a hand or carry a load, meeting her (and everyone else’s) responsibilities.

If you needed a ride, Isadora would soon be at your doorstep in her equally reliable vehicle. If you needed a bridge loan to cover your rent, you could count on her. She was the first one people usually went to in a community disaster. Rock of Dependability folks like Isadora always open their hearts, roll up their sleeves, and do what needs to be done—whether it’s helping a family whose house burned down at Christmas or comforting a group of children who lost their parents in an auto accident.

What I’ve learned from people like Isadora is that Rocks of Dependability tend to partner with those who are irresponsible, unemployed, or disabled; have addiction and dependency issues; or are trust-fund babies. Ironically, Rocks often marry individuals who seem quite delicate and are constantly craving the company of others to pump up their self-esteem or ego. During the course of their relationship, the Rocks will tend to gain weight as they carry more and more responsibility, and their mates will lose weight as they shed or avoid their concerns. This transfer of responsibility (and weight) demonstrates a dangerously unhealthy interdependency.

What clues signal that you might be a Rock of Dependability? In high school and college, you were the one your classmates copied notes from or called to get the assignments. People are always asking you for a ride. If you miss two days of work in a row, your office becomes chaotic and co-workers call you at home to ask where things are. People seek your advice, even though you’re not a therapist. You're a tried-and-true friend who often goes on rescue missions, whether you’re bailing others out financially, helping them through health crises, or just being there for them when they feel down.

If this sounds like you, then you may be a Rock of Dependability. Who wouldn’t want you on their team? But be careful, because over time your excessive devotion to everyone’s needs but your own will take its toll on your third-chakra health. The first alarm will sound as a pang of guilt right in the center of your gut whenever you aren’t able to come to a loved one’s rescue.



  1. Identify that most of your self-esteem is based on being responsible, faithful, and dependable to others, but you’re not conscientious about your own physical and emotional needs, especially when it comes to appearance, fashion, self-image, and general pride in yourself.
  2. Recognize your belief that self-care, self-adornment, and working on your image and pride are self-absorbed, selfish, and narcissistic. 
  3. Discern the difference between healthy self-esteem (appropriately satisfying your need for a strong, beautiful, attractive, and competent self-image) and being selfish (developing the overblown, overindulged, self-centered persona that you fear). Further realize that by ignoring your need for self-worth in an attempt to avoid becoming narcissistic, you may actually end up attracting people who have narcissistic qualities. 
  4. Restrict the time that you’re responsible and depended upon to work for others. Schedule an hour or two on a regular basis for a little indulgence that’s not related to eating or drinking. Increase your daily quota of time spent on your personal appearance, including hair, nail, and skin care. 
  5. Know that you’re lovable for who you are, not just how responsible, trustworthy, and faithful you can be. 
  6. Change the unhealthy thought pattern: I am not lovable unless I am responsible, dependable, and working to take care of everyone’s needs… to the healthier affirmation: I love with wisdom. I nurture and support others as much as I nurture and support myself. 
  7. Follow my third rule for intuitive health—You can’t always get what you want, but if you try, you’ll get what you need—by feeling as good about yourself when you’re fulfilling duties and responsibilities in your personal life as you do when you’re helping others.

Mona Lisa  SchulzMona Lisa 's Bio: Dr Mona Lisa Schulz is one of those rare people who can cross the borders of science, medicine and mysticism. Dr. Mona Lisa has published 3 books, The Intuitive Advisor, The New Feminine Brain and Awakening Intuition. - Mona Lisa Schulz Website

Ferlow botanicals - natural products

Copyright © 2004- 2011 OKinHealth.com. This article is of the copyright of OK in Health and the author; any reproduction, duplication and transmission of the article are to have prior written approval by OK in Health or the author.

This information and research is intended to be reliable, but its accuracy cannot be guaranteed. All material in this article is provided for information only and may not be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action or inaction should be taken based solely on the contents of this newsletter / e-magazine / website. Readers should consult their doctor and other qualified health professionals on any matter relating to their health and well-being. The information and opinions provided in this newsletter / e-magazine/website are believed to be accurate and sound, based on the best judgment available to the authors. Readers who fail to consult with appropriate health authorities assume the risk of any injuries. The publisher is not responsible for any errors or omissions. OK in Health is not responsible for the information in these articles or for any content included in this article which is intended as a guide only and should not be used as a substitute to seeking professional advice from either your doctor or a registered specialist for yourself or anyone else.
Connect with Us
facebook    twitter

Maria's Ireland Sacred Tours

Wellness Tip
Secondhand Smoke
The heart and blood vessels are extremely sensitive to toxic chemicals in secondhand smoke. According to some studies, secondhand smoke can increase the risk of heart disease by 30% or more. Play it safe; avoid secondhand smoke as much as you can.

Michael O'Connor - Astrologer

Wellness Directory
Nancy Serwo & Associates
Specialty: Energy Workers
Life Transformed. Nancy provides 1:1 consultation for medical intuitive & quantum healing work and is certified to teach a series of powerful life changing workshops.
View Details

Maria’s Ireland Itinerary Planning Services

Michael O'Connor - Astrologer

Feed Your Cat as Nature Intended
Although commonly accepted that commercial dry food is an adequate 100% complete balanced diet for cats, I have many concerns with this line of thinking. For one, it is made with a great deal of grain or grain by-products, in most cases well over 40%.
Full Article

Michael O'Connor - Astrologer

Oh So Good Salsa
Category: Raw Foods
Description: This eay to make Salsa is a raw food recipe. Tomato salsa, if prepared using fresh ingredients, has several health benefits. Tomatoes contain large amounts of vitamin C and beta carotene. Because of the fresh ingredients, you can include tomato salsa as one of your suggested four vegetable servings per day. Just 1/4 cup of fresh tomato salsa counts as a single serving.
Full Recipe

Maria’s Ireland Itinerary Planning Services