Healing the Heart – Forgiving the Unforgiveable - June 2009By Sharon Taphorn, Vancouver, BC
“Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love” -Mahatma Gandhi
Letting go of anger and resentment, and feeling yourself healed is such an important gift we can give ourselves. When we hold unforgiveness in our hearts, we only punish ourselves. You may be perfectly justified in feeling angry, yet, look at the high price you pay to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self, being the vessel of anger.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean, “What you did is okay to me”. It means, “I am no longer willing to carry around pain in response to your actions.” Forgiveness assists us in releasing and surrendering energy and emotions that often stand in the way of allowing ourselves to experience peace, balance, joy, and oftentimes, healthy balanced relationships, especially those relationships that involve our heart energy.
Beginning the journey to forgiveness is often the most difficulty. We can identify ourselves by that situation or circumstance, and we become comfortable with that energy while at the same time wishing we didn’t have to bare the pain our hearts feel.
One of the tools I used to process and heal through and forgive myself during a time in my life when I knew I needed to work through many of the situations from my past in order to be able to move forward with a clean slate so to speak. I had been on a leave from my job. I had felt overwhelmed by so much that had happened in my life, and I needed to take time away from the world and figure things out. I was really not the type of person who shared what was happening on a personal level, although I was often the coffee table counsellor for many a friend. I had a wonderful medical doctor at the time that encouraged self and holistic approaches to healthcare rather than masking the symptoms with drugs and she encouraged me to explore my feelings. I wasn’t really sure how to begin this journey, only that I needed to do something. I remember very clearly hearing a voice say to me to begin to move, so I did. I took the dog for a walk and began to move. I knew I could do the next 5 minutes, so I began taking life 5 minutes at a time. I knew I had to move forward doing something different than I had done before, because doing the same things I did before, only led to more of the same – the Universal Law of Attraction working at its finest – Energy flows were your attention goes.
As I began to feel better, 5 minutes at a time, I spent a lot my time journaling, and in meditation, trying to sort out all of the thoughts, feelings and emotions. Being naturally sensitive to thoughts feelings and emotions of others, I had to first figure out what was mine and what stuff belonged to others and it wasn’t necessary for me to even process, I just had to release them. I tried reading a few books; however I would read a few pages and move on to another. I found that I really needed to figure out my own way of processing through this quagmire of feelings, thoughts and emotions.
As time progressed, I began to realize that what I truly needed to do was release and forgive myself, not necessarily those who I felt had betrayed or hurt me, but myself. I had to forgive myself for not trusting my instinct, for allowing myself to be vulnerable and loved, and that it was okay to be a trusting, loving being, no matter what.
One of the processing techniques I was guided to use, I called the Gifting Process, a technique that allows you to work through and release any thoughts of unforgiveness that are holding you back from living a life filled with peace, love and joy, to living in our natural state of beingness.
The Gifting Process
When we release old habits, beliefs, and unwanted emotions, we free up our bodies to receive new energy. This is a process I used to let go people and circumstances in my life that no longer served me and I wanted to see complete. The burden of caring around the past can make you weary. It is time to keep only the lessons and the love, and leave everything else behind. Let anger and resentment go, and feel yourself healed. You don’t need to forgive the action, just the person – so that you can be at peace.
Make a list of all the people, situations and events that you would like to clear. You can start a few at a time if this seems overwhelming at first.
Write a letter to each person or event for each situation you want to transform and heal. Forgiveness does not mean, “What you did is okay to me. I am no longer willing to carry around pain in response to your actions.” When we hold unforgiveness in our hearts, we only punish ourselves. Release unforgiveness through these letters. Put every emotion, thought and feeling into this letter. When you are done, you can either create a ceremony and burn the letters, cleanse them by water (immerse them in a bucket filled with water), or if you choose, you can even mail some of them to people who you truly love and will be healed by your forgiveness.
See only love – When you focus on love everything else falls away. Your resolute focus upon the love that underlies every situation brings about healing in undreamed of ways.
Hold the vision of yourself healed and whole, feel yourself balanced and at peace, for that is truly what is important. As you heal your own heart, the brightness that you begin to radiate allows others to be courageous enough to move forward and begin their journey of healing back to Love.
 Sharon's Bio: I am a Teacher, Healer, and Adventurer on this human journey. As an early indigo, I felt most at home with nature and animals. I have always been empathic and sensitive to the energies in my environment. Learning to work with these enhanced senses in the 3D world has been an interesting journey. I began to seek answers and clarity in books and libraries at an early age, my quest for a better understanding of why I could see, hear, feel and smell things others could not. This led to an exploration of many religions, beliefs and experiences, some dark, some strange. I learned the power of our thoughts, and working with other dimensional energies through classes on empowerment, workshops, books and life experience. A life threatening illness in my son when he was three led me to Nursing, which led me to alternative healing as my patients would tell me they felt better when I was working (I knew I had a healing touch and made a point of always touching my patients). And mother to a 22 year old multidimensional Indigo. - Email
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