"People require love and acceptance"

By:  Carole Fawcett, Vernon

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them”.  Mother Theresa was a special human being who lived her life with unconditional love for humankind.

We live in a society that loves to hang labels on people, presumably with the only intention of being able to judge them.   People with disabilities, both visible and non visible know what I’m talking about.  People who are of a different race will also know what I’m talking about, as do people whose sexuality is different. The common denominator here is that none of these differences are a conscious choice.  You don’t choose to be born with a disability, you don’t choose to be born gay, as you don’t choose to be born black, yellow or white.  I believe we are simply born into our destiny and our journey begins.

In the 1980’s I lived in Winnipeg, MB and was a working photographer.  I produced a slide documentary of a young man living with AIDS.  Kevin Masterson and I were introduced to one another in 1989 and for one year he allowed me to record his life.  As a Nurse, he was pleased to take part in an educational project that helped alleviate the myths and fears of AIDS. At my request, he kept a daily journal and recorded his thoughts about how it felt to be a gay man with AIDS.  Kevin had the wasting syndrome that sometimes accompanies this disease, so it was pretty easy to see that he may have AIDS.  When we went into restaurants we would get angry fearful looks and people would not sit near us.  I saw and felt hatred in action.  It is a very ugly energy and it strips both the perpetrator and the receiver of dignity and respect as it insidiously spreads its venom over everything nearby.

To experience this type of stress from almost the moment you are born, throughout your entire life and until you die knowing that people do not like you due to something that is beyond your control could be emotionally debilitating.   Reading hateful comments in any form of print, written by people who don’t know you personally, but who profess to be representative of a doctrine that says we should love everyone unconditionally, must be perplexing and hurtful.  

We all need to be loved and accepted for who we are, despite our differences.  From the person who has to stay at the homeless shelter, to the woman who is beaten by her partner, to the young woman who is gay, to the new immigrant who cannot speak our language, to the young teen who has made a few mistakes, to the mentally ill who may seem different at times, to everyone out there who does not fall into what is perceived to be the regular stream of life; they all need our unconditional love and acceptance as human beings.

Examine your own judgments and biases and see if you can find where they originated.  Then start to re-form your own views with an open mind and heart.  Consciously look for the good in everyone you meet, push the judgment out of the way and get to the core of the person.  Much like a worn teddy bear – it’s the stuffing that counts.

J. Carter wrote the following.  “I have one life and one chance to make it count for something . . . I'm free to choose what that something is, and the something I've chosen is my faith. Now, my faith goes beyond theology and religion and requires considerable work and effort. My faith demands ~ this is not optional ~ my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can, with whatever I have, to make a difference." 

Carole Fawcett is a Stress Management Consultant & Laughter Therapist

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